Dear Mr D

Write a letter to your health

Dear Mr D, 

We first met on 15th March 2004, even though you may have known me before I didn't know you. You came along when I was 13 at a difficult age of everything changing. We had a bumpy start with being admitted to hospital with 30+ sugars but we soon set sail on a journey together. 

Our journey however wasn't always smooth, we hit a brick wall and went our separate ways for a long time to the point were you didn't care about me no more so I no longer cared for you. We grew apart and hardly stayed in touch. You took over my life and I wanted nothing to do with you! You wasn't the way I had hoped and your personality wasn't to my liking at all, you needed caring for 24 hours a day and I couldn't keep up. 

2005 came along and I simply walked into a table...I know a blonde moment of mine but still only a mere bump to the leg and boom! you decided to remind me of your presence. This reminder came in the form of Necrobiosis which is an awful mark on my shin that will never disappear. As a 15 year old girl a mark on the leg is traumatic, tights on all year round, no camouflage make up can cover it properly and those summer dresses are a big huff for me...Thanks much appreciated Mr D. 

This letter to you can't be all negative I suppose...at the start of this year we decided to reunite and build on our relationship again before we both got hurt or destroyed each other. I agree we did try our hardest but Mr L (Larry Lantus) didn't want to work with us or in our partnership so we tried to grab Mrs N's attention (Novorapid Norma) She tried to work with us but we needed all four of us to work as a team. Nothing worked Mr L just didn't want to listen and he sent us on a roller coaster every day. 

Finally 30th August came and we were set to meet our new friend who was going to help us on our journey. We managed to persuade the PCT to fund her and she came all sparkly and ready to work hard, just what we needed! So me, you and Mrs N met Peppa the pink animas pump. All of us together work as a team and we are really seeing the benefits of a happy relationship. I do admit we have a lot of learning to do all of us four but we are slowly getting there even if we have a few hiccups every now and then. I suppose I can forgive those hiccups as sometimes that could be my fault and sometimes it's yours but who's pointing fingers? 

To round up my letter to you, I would like to say thank you for being here and behaving yourself, we have to work together we don't have a choice but I suppose we do have a choice to be friends and get along. I do prefer our friendship now we are on good terms. 

I'll keep up the good work if you do along with Peppa and Mrs N. 

Kind regards

Your partner in crime, Ness

Photo a day 1 to 8

Photo a day for 30 days....playing catch up! 1-8

1. Struggle - life's always a struggle when
you have Necrobiosis Lipoidica Diabeticorum
caused by your diabetes.

2. Prescriptions - Being overloaded with endless
supplies to keep you alive every day. 

Dot to dot.

3. Fingers - The endless amount of times
I have pricked my fingers to test my
sugars, one day ill be a fountain of
blood! 

4. Oops - Oops indeed for the blocked
cannulas and for the amount of bruises
that may come my way in the future.

Oops for bruises

Oops for the blood

5. Bulls-eye - For the days when perfect
sugars grace you with their presence
and Mr D behaves 

6. Gear - This is the amount of 'gear'
I take with me everyday to ensure
I stay alive

7. Feet - got to keep these bad boys
healthy, they may not be beautiful
but I sure as hell would miss them!

8. Sparkle - This is for the sparkle on
each birthday cake I get every year
and being thankful for my sparkling new
insulin pump for making life that little bit
easier. 

Day 6 - Taking the high road

Better late than never I suppose!!

Prompt - Write about a time you had to take the high road

This post is more about taking the high road within myself apposed to taking the high road away from a person.

I was diagnosed in 2004 at the age of 13, my high school didn't have a clue what my condition was and what they had to do. My nurse came and spoke to the staff at my high school but who knows what she told them as at the age of 13 I didn't rate my DSN either. I just got on with it and I would test just before dinner time and wouldn't bother till I returned home. I slowly drifted into a rut of not bothering what I did or what Mr D did. I often got a telling off for wanting the toilet more and as I look back well if your sugars were 20+ you would want the toilet a lot!

So as time went on I didn't care and my A1c slowly started to creep up and I would walk into clinic with no results and a very empty book! Even though my consultant scared the life out of me, it still did not motivate me to bother.

I left school and off to college I went and I still didn't care. Often I would spend all day at college with no blood meter, no food, no hypo treatments and I would barely eat dinner if I could help it! My sugars were far to high for me to even feel a hypo in the distance so nothing really matter to me.

I completed college and moved on to university were I lived in halls for the first year and still didn't really care about Mr D or the effects he might have on me. By this point my A1c was 12.6% I would occasionally try to test my sugars when I would remember just so that my DSN could help my sugars. By the time I was in uni my DSN was now a lady called Alison, who has stuck with me through thick and thin, she would attempt to motivate me and outline the importance of testing but I just went on living the life I was used to, with not a care in the world. I would always take my injections but they would be mere guessing of what insulin I needed.

One summer my mum and dad went abroad for a holiday and also my sister, her husband and my nephew also went on holiday. They asked me if I could 'house sit' and look after the dog whilst they were away. My boyfriend lived 30 miles down the road at the time so I was in the house alone. One morning I woke up and felt seriously strange and sick. I plodded on and started to get ready for work. As I drank water I could feel myself choking at the thought of putting a drop of water in my mouth. As the afternoon approached it suddenly dawned on me that I had forgot to take my Lantus injections the night before. I immediately rang Primary care (which is a helpline run by the NHS with trained nurses and doctors at the hospital), the sister on the line really dug her nails deep in my skin through the phone as she explained how serious it was to forget it. I was told to drive to the hospital, which I know now was very serious! I was in the early stages of DKA. With nobody around I had plenty of time to think about my actions and how serious things could have been if it had gone further. The needle the nurse put in my lower arm for an acid test kindly reminded me I never wanted to be in that situation again.

It still took time for me to be motivated and grow up, finally at the start of this year was a huge turning point. I decided I needed to grab hold of my life and sort it out. Since then I have continuously visiting my DSN (Alison) every 2 weeks to help keep on top of myself. It took myself to forget the anger inside of me and to take the high road and get on with life and not to waste the life I had. I worked very hard for months on end and still didn't get those perfect sugars I would love to have, but I persevered and finally 8 months later my funding for an insulin pump was accepted and life is going great.

I embrace how lucky I am and have no anger within me regarding Mr D, hes just a small part of my every day life.