The day finally came for my first clinic appointment. Firstly I saw my DSN and the dietitian for my weight and blood pressure which I wasn't looking forward to as this week has been tough on weight issues. My family have a hot topic about me putting weight on which is clearly because I have better controlled sugars and the sugar is no longer been flushed down the toilet! Still it is a very touchy subject to me and I can see myself in the mirror!
I stepped on the scales and once again a few more kilograms... not what I was expecting. The tears started flowing and I don't think it helped that my beloved boyfriend mentioned in the waiting room that my dad was telling my mum I had put on weight so I had already got upset in the waiting room. My DSN and dietitian kindly reminded me how far I have come in such a short space of time and that for the past 8 years nothing was actually going through my system and now I need to take another look at my calorie in take as it has changed due to my sugars being at a normal range. Which got me thinking how hard people find change, my family have to understand that for years on years it didn't matter what I ate, it made no difference but now it makes a huge difference and things in my house have to change and it shouldn't just be me who changes because if you see somebody next to you eat a muffin...I want a muffin too. So temptations in the house need to be gone...this may sound petty or harsh on the people I live with but everybody in my family complains about their weight so why not change now while I have to before I become the 50 stone diabetic!
Back to it...
So my DSN and dietitian had a long chat with me and explain things through and how I could work on things to make it better, like go for a walk when I get home before I wind down in the evening or jump on the cross trainer for 10 minutes before I relax with a brew and of course I need to get back into the circuit training...which I have to say I enjoy.
Finally I saw the consultant, I walked in with my boyfriend and sat down... first question 'what do you think of the pump' to my reply 'I LOVE my pump' and he seemed pleased so I threw the most important question out there my HbA1c. It was 8.5% I was ecstatic! He brought up all my A1c's since diagnosis in 2004 and this one was the best since 2006 : D It was such an amazing feeling to know a starting point of my success.
As my consultant said 'yes it is a very good starting point and remember it is a starting point'. I know this sounds like hes telling me not to give up but what he actually meant was don't be disheartened by it still being 8.5%.
I then had to literally throw my book of numbers at him as he wasn't going to ask for them and in the back of my mind my conscience was telling me....THIS IS THE FIRST TIME YOU HAVE HAD A BOOK FULL OF BLOODS!!!!!
So I practically threw it at him to look! So finally I had to mention I wake up high as he didn't seem to notice and he told me all about the hormones that are produced in the early hours of the morning as if I didn't know that anyway and then he had no intention of making changes. He just saw the lovely green highlighted numbers which I like to pick out to show a clear picture and he mentioned I had some great bloods.
The comment that then made me think 'who is this guy?' was "if you have any problems with your pump, speak to Alison (my DSN) as she knows more about the pumps then we do, I don't know much about them, so I will see you in 6 months time". I must of spent a whole 7 minutes with this man!
I walked out and boom it hit me...What exactly is this guy for? Is he the person that tells me i'm doing great and he gets paid a bomb to tell me a result of my A1c? I could easily just see my DSN and she could tell me to same thing with more support.
I know some people have great consultants and have a brilliant relationship with their consultant...not me, I don't think he would know me if I stood in front of his face. In my personal opinion I don't think DSN's get enough credit for what they do! My DSN is amazing and she may be a tough cookie as a few may know but she would never let me down and always takes my side or compromises with me.
How well do you know your consultant, would you trust him with your care if he had control, would you let him make changes to your current health plan...because I sure as hell would not!